By now you have a good idea who your
wedding and reception guests will be. Though there may be cancellations
and last minute additions, you have a firm number of guests in mind.
It is therefore time to order invitations, announcements and thank-you
notes.
The invitation sets the tone for your
wedding and reflects its style. It should be factual and concise, stating
who, why, where and when. The only abbreviations should be "Mr.",
"Mrs.", and "Ms.". Every single word should be written
out including the year. An example is 2001. This should appear on the
invitation as two thousand and one.
Etiquette requires that the first names
to appear on the invitation should be the names of the people paying
for the wedding. Today’s world of separated and re-combined families,
however, requires some flexibility in achieving an equitable result.
One way to handle any sticky family situation is to address the invitation
somewhat like "Jane Wilson and Brad James, together with their
parents, request the honor of your presence at their marriage".
This approach can solve the problem of
several people participating in paying for the wedding.
Today’s more creative wedding gives
you greater latitude in the formality of your invitation. Traditional
wedding etiquette, however, requires that you should use the following
phrases in the situations that follow:
If the ceremony is to be held in a
religious building (church, temple) request the "honor of your
presence", in the invitation wording.
If the ceremony is to take place anywhere
else request the "pleasure of your company".
The stationery you will need can be ordered
from a stationery store or from a private stationery representative.
Either will have a broad selection of wedding stationery for you. The
selection you make will reflect the style of your wedding, from traditional
and formal to creative and informal. The stationery salesperson/consultant
will provide guidance on the specifics of addressing invitations and
how to word them.
The typical invitation stationery in
the traditional style will include:
- The outer envelope with your return
address on the back flap;
- The inner envelope; (some only have one envelope today)
- The invitation;
- The reception card, if your reception
is to be held at a location different from the ceremony;
- The response card and a return addressed
envelope which you will stamp;
- Any necessary printed map(s) of directions
to the ceremony and/or reception location(s).
If you need or want more details on etiquette
in addressing your invitations in the traditional style you can obtain
a copy of:
Crane’s Wedding Blue Book: The
Styles and Etiquette of Announcements, Invitations, and Other Correspondences
by Steven L. Feinberg (Fireside, 1993)
You may also want to order wedding announcements.
They are not mailed to anyone who received an invitation, and the receiver
is not obligated to send a wedding gift. Wedding announcements are sent
to those that you were unable to invite to your wedding but would like
to inform that it occurred. You can also use wedding announcements if
you elope or have a small family ceremony. Announcements are not mailed
until after the wedding.
Thank-you notes may also be ordered at
this time. If you select notes with your married name or initials you
should not use them until after the wedding. All notes and invitations can be ordered on-line.
